Even the most confident among us have moments here and there, where they feel inadequate, suffer from imposter syndrome, or come off as not confident at all. Many also walk around with a voice in their heads that, once allowed, will go as far as demoralize and belittle, contributing to a decrease in self-esteem and an all-around dip in confidence.

The truth is, confidence is something you fake until you embody it, and then it becomes a habit. Like any other skill or habit, you’re gonna have to build muscles for it. One way to do this is by watching the words you use and the way you talk. It’s not an easy feat to reframe our thoughts and change our attitudes, but there are some phrases that come off negative that you’ll have to ditch if you want to both feel more confident and also become more positive.

Here they are.

The first thing you have to strike out of your vocabulary is the phrase: “I can’t do it.” Instead, replace it with “I can try to do it.” This keeps in the tradition of not shooting yourself in the foot. When you say that you can try to do something, you give yourself a chance without setting expectations, making it potentially possible to actually complete the task or activity at hand.

Similarly, replace ” I should do it” with “I will do it” or “I won’t do it.” Should is a very charged and controlling term that adds unnecessary pressure on ourselves and others.

You probably already know this, but “never” is another one of those words that makes you come off as not confident. The expression is true: “Never say never.” Not only does the word “never” have negative energy, but it also makes you come off as someone who doesn’t believe in things happening, and that’s never attractive.

In the same vain, steer clear from saying “If  only I had done (xyz).” Every once in a while, everyone gets an “if only” moment, but if this is something that you find yourself constantly saying, then you’re not learning from the past, you’re only lamenting, which is not something that confident people do.

And lastly, saying “It’s not fair” is something you need to stop doing if you truly want to come off as confident. Instead, it’s better to say “I can deal with it,” because more often than not, that’s the actual case.

Others ways to perk your mood up include trying to quit smoking and candles.

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