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Is your hair is thinning? Here’s how to style what you have left

words by: Jacob Seferian
May 7, 2020

Noticing a few strands too many on your pillow? It could be nothing – or it could be the early signs of male pattern baldness. I watched for years as follicles ditched my scalp, one by one RIPing on the shower floor. I figured it was normal, listening to my boyfriend’s blind assurances, “Nah, babe. You’re definitely not balding.”

But a quick glance at my father and brother suggest the future is grim. I’m in the early stages, so I can still hide it, but by 30 – I’ll look like a damn Simpson’s character. Balding sucks – there’s no way to sugar coat. However, if lean into the inevitable and learn to adapt – you can, fingers crossed, make the best of the situation for a few more years.

Here are some styling hacks for thinning hair.

 

First, be honest with yourself.

Look in the mirror. Right now. Do it. How far gone is your scalp? Be honest with yourself. If you have several extremely visible bald spots, sorry dude – but it’s time to pack it in and shave your head. No matter what what pop-up ads on PornHub say, there are no affordable products or treatments that will reverse balding. Just take the L.

 

Get a hat, but choose wisely.

A hat is the most obvious thinning hack – but it depends on what kind of hat. You can’t wear a baseball hat everywhere, so opt for a head covering that you can dress up and down. My personal favorite is a brimless cap – arguably a little too hyper-trendy, but they suit almost every head shape and complement most outfits. More importantly, you can wear them inside nice restaurants and at the office.

 

Let your hair air dry.

Fellas, I know you’re in a rush, but when you hop out of the shower – don’t furiously rub your head with a towel – air dry. Towel drying can shake loose already fragile follicles. The goal is to keep what you have left!

 

Comb-over doesn’t have to be dirty word.

I know, I know. It sounds awful, but if your hair still grows thick and long enough so you only see the effects of thinning in harsh overhead light – you can make it work. Keep your hair long and you can ride the wave for a few more years. Note: this is only OK if your hair is not too visibility thin. Get a second opinion on this; ask your most brutally honest friend.

 

Don’t get a toupée.

Period.

 

Bleach your hair.

The ultimate hail Mary before Shaves Headsville – bleach your hair Slim Shady blonde. I can’t explain the science behind it, but thinning hair is less noticeable when it’s a pale color. Plus it can be kind of chic.

 

* * *

Losing your hair can be demoralizing, but contrary to popular opinion, it’s not the death of your sex appeal. You have to work with the cards you’ve been dealt. Because you know what looks worse than a shaved head? Denial.

 

For more ULTRA tips on how to keep the hair you have left, click here.

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