In my quest to scour the internet for crazy cool products and accessories for this week’s Fire Finds column, I stumbled upon the TENGA Pocket Tissue Hat. Now, I’ve never heard of TENGA and so I researched them a little. Turns out, TENGA is a Japanese brand that specializes in making adult toys, specifically male masturbation aids. WILD RIGHT?!

The TENGA Pocket Tissue Hat

After researching the company, the hat all makes sense – remember that scene from The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift where Bow Wow throws Lucas Black the tissues in the car when they pull up to the underground car park?

“For when you blow your wad man.”

Imagine how lit and wild that scene would’ve been if they had this hat!

All jokes aside, the product may be funny to wear (and might even scream ‘look at me I’m a perv’) but having tissues on hand – especially during a pandemic – actually comes in pretty handy. And if you or your significant other (will you still have one after wearing this hat?!) had severe allergies this year like me, it’ll definitely be a welcome wardrobe addition. So that’s a thumbs up for functionality.

Plus, you can always wear the hat without the tissues on the top of your head thanks to the two layer structure inside. Or wear it in the bedroom to spice up your sex life – completely up to you (and your partner). Regardless, the hat comes with sexual connotations left and right. I mean come on, that hole?!

Aesthetically, you might get a lot of questions directed towards you about the red graphic on the black hat (after people have inspected the accessory from up close thanks to the tissues sticking out). It’s the TENGA Cup Series logo, which is the brand’s disposable male masturbation aid.

How do I cop it? (Asking for a friend)

Whether you want to admit to wanting one or not, the TENGA Pocket Tissue Hat can be purchased on tenga.co.jp for ¥2,500 JPY, about $23. The 100% cotton accessory will definitely be a conversation starter and attention grabber so I expect to see a few on the streets of New York soon enough.

Read about how bucket hats in general are making a comeback. If you’re looking for something less out there, but something might keep you indoors just as much, check out the Atari VCS console.

Photos via TENGA