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Self-preservation

Weird sh*t you can do to slow down the balding process

words by: Radhiya Sabnani
Dec 18, 2019

For as long as I’ve known my Dad, he’s been bald. He decided to shave his entire head of hair off a few years into his marriage after realizing that his hairline and poof weren’t doing him justice. 

However, he’s probably the only man I know that enjoys being bald. For most men, it’s one of their biggest fears. Not only is it a sign of growing older and shitty genetics — a bald head can leave you with a terrible sunburn to boot. Trust me, I’ve witnessed this firsthand.

The list of things men try to avoid the inevitable is exhaustive, but the ones that really speak to desperation include: 

 

Avoid Hot Showers

You’ll have to say goodbye to your beloved hot showers where you soak away your troubles and steam off your stress. Hot water can strip the scalp of essential oils and cause dryness and inflammation which reduces hair follicles. 

 

Try a Scalp Massage

A good old scalp massage can increase hair density by giving blood circulation to the scalp and hair follicles on your head. It’s always a good way to reduce stress, which in turn, is good for hair growth!

 

Consider a Transplant

Find yourself a donor and take their hair follicles! You’ll have to get them grafted onto your scalp and it may take a few transplants, but it’s a sure way to grow your luscious locks back.

 

Meditation and Exercise

Stop being so lazy, and take care of yourself! Anxiety will flood your body with cortisol and speed up your balding process, so make sure to get that under control. 

 

Mediterranean Diet

Changing up your diet to raw veggies and fresh herbs can reduce, or at least slow down, the risk of androgenic alopecia! 

 

Laser Therapy

Low level lasers can improve hair density if you’re losing hair. You can even buy your own for anything between $200-$600.

 

Onion Juice

We’ve all heard of coconut oil, olive oil, and ginseng to help grow hair, but onion juice is the next big thing. Applying crude onion juice to your scalp twice a day can promote growth up to 87%.

 

If nothing you do seems to work, don’t worry. Maxim put together a study entitled “Bald Guys Are Seen As Smart, Dominant, and Just Plain Sexy, Study Says” for baldies to bond with and embrace their new look. 

 

 

Gif by Dax Norman

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